Author: admin

Hello all! Okay, part of the reason I created this site was to have a place to explore myself and figure out what makes me tick. I had this epiphany once that, although I am a different breed of woman, I might not be the only one. Also, I find it difficult to keep myself on the right track sometimes, so I need a place for accountability. That will mean some exposure of myself that may not be comfortable. And could be why it has taken me so long to put anything out there. Anyone else feeling this?

I had the intent of opening this up today as I was inspired watching some craft room organization videos. However, once I sat down to do it, I couldn’t for the life of me remember how to get into my own site. It’s taken me over half an hour to work through my notes, support forums and all of my notebooks to remember how to get here. Which is more proof why I should spend more time here. And now I’ve completely lost that inspired thread I was going to write.

So, rather than let that stop me from moving forward, I will share with you what my intent here is.

Short background – I have held a full time job most of my life. My career growth has taken me to a realm of great opportunity and great responsibility with massive amounts of challenges. My field is mostly male dominated and is very stressful. More stressful on me than others because I am a perfectionist and I feel I must produce the best possible output no matter what. That cannot be said of all others in my field, which tends to frustrate me greatly. And I spend a lot of time explaining to those with whom I work exactly what my function and purpose is. It can be exhausting. Also, I managed to not manage my home as well as I would have hoped for or feel I should have. Y’all, my house is a mess. Like we aren’t quite ready to be on an episode of hoarders, but every surface of my house has clutter and chaos on it. EVERY SURFACE! It was getting to a point that I didn’t want to come home at night because of the chaos. And my kids are grown! Also, on a personal note, I lost my dad, almost lost a son, had several kids (mine and others) move in and out over the past few years, lost my closet and my craft room for the cause. (and I have a closet that would make most grown women weep from joy.) I have no space for me! Just to decompress, or craft, or anything really. My office at work was becoming my sanctuary.

I was overwhelmed. And overloaded. And ready to snap. So, my husband and I decided maybe I needed a break . So I came home with all these ideas of grandure. I was going to take control of my house, start working on my crafting business and get my life in order. It was going to be great. But what I didn’t know was that I was depressed and I had waited a little too long to take this step.

Fast forward – I’ve been home now for 9 months. My house is still chaos. One of the last 2 remaining children has flown the coop to be a soldier and I have a therapist. I did manage to get a few rooms cleaned up and organized, but I haven’t been able to maintain them. I’m looking to go back to work because the truth is I didn’t control the budget the way I should have. And I’ve gained 20 pounds since coming home and I was already over what I should have been by a large margin. So I had to buy a whole new wardrobe just to get started again. Work clothes that is, my lounge close still fit quite nicely thank you very much!

So, I’ve decided that if I truly want something to help hold me accountable and to get all my thoughts out of my head, it’s time to start populating this site. I have big plans with a rough timeline right now which I plan to post in another article. But for now I hope that putting this out there will suffice as a good start.

Thanks for listening.

Do you remember where you were when the towers fell? Are you old enough to remember it? Did you lose someone that day?

Most of us old enough to have been able to watch it happen in real time remember exactly where we were, what we were doing and what we were thinking. It was a time of fear, uncertainty, sadness and anger. At least it was for me. I had just gotten my cherubs dropped off at school and was en route to my job. I heard the first plane hit announced on the radio and watched the second one on a TV belonging to one of my co-workers. I speculated with my office mates about what was happening and where the next hit might happen. Sometimes I hate it when I’m right.

I knew we were under attack when the second plane hit. My country was under attack by an unknown assailant. My speculation in this continuing conversation with coworkers – the third hit would be the Pentagon or the White House. Why on earth would I think that? I am an Army veteran. It’s what I would do. It was the next logical step in a coordinated attack. Those with us that day who served were in agreement. Those who had never served thought we were crazy. Turns out we were right.

All I wanted to do that day was run back to the places I had dropped my children, take them back home and hold them. Forever. But I couldn’t. I had to work and they had to be at school. Like everyone else, I went through a range of emotions over the next few days. I cried; I screamed; I shook my head; I watched my children sleep. And every year on the anniversary, no matter where I am, I go through a range of emotions again. Today is that day. It didn’t hit me that it was that day when I got up. It hit me when I opened my social media. It’s not a day that I purposely make note of or set aside to reflect on, but it is a day I find vitally important to remember.

I didn’t lose a relative or friend on that day in 2001. But I did loose other country men and women. I feel for those who did lose someone. I grieve for those lost. I grieve for changes that were made after it happened. And I grieve for things still not changed that should have been. Today I reflect, as I’m sure others do, on the loss. But I am also very grateful for what I didn’t lose that day. I still have my people. I still have my health. I still have the ability to help others where I can. These are the things I take with me and hope others do as well.

Before I get more emotional and stop making sense, let me leave you with this. Love each other, reflect on those we lost that day, then go out and do what you must today!