Hello all! Okay, part of the reason I created this site was to have a place to explore myself and figure out what makes me tick. I had this epiphany once that, although I am a different breed of woman, I might not be the only one. Also, I find it difficult to keep myself on the right track sometimes, so I need a place for accountability. That will mean some exposure of myself that may not be comfortable. And could be why it has taken me so long to put anything out there. Anyone else feeling this?
I had the intent of opening this up today as I was inspired watching some craft room organization videos. However, once I sat down to do it, I couldn’t for the life of me remember how to get into my own site. It’s taken me over half an hour to work through my notes, support forums and all of my notebooks to remember how to get here. Which is more proof why I should spend more time here. And now I’ve completely lost that inspired thread I was going to write.
So, rather than let that stop me from moving forward, I will share with you what my intent here is.
Short background – I have held a full time job most of my life. My career growth has taken me to a realm of great opportunity and great responsibility with massive amounts of challenges. My field is mostly male dominated and is very stressful. More stressful on me than others because I am a perfectionist and I feel I must produce the best possible output no matter what. That cannot be said of all others in my field, which tends to frustrate me greatly. And I spend a lot of time explaining to those with whom I work exactly what my function and purpose is. It can be exhausting. Also, I managed to not manage my home as well as I would have hoped for or feel I should have. Y’all, my house is a mess. Like we aren’t quite ready to be on an episode of hoarders, but every surface of my house has clutter and chaos on it. EVERY SURFACE! It was getting to a point that I didn’t want to come home at night because of the chaos. And my kids are grown! Also, on a personal note, I lost my dad, almost lost a son, had several kids (mine and others) move in and out over the past few years, lost my closet and my craft room for the cause. (and I have a closet that would make most grown women weep from joy.) I have no space for me! Just to decompress, or craft, or anything really. My office at work was becoming my sanctuary.
I was overwhelmed. And overloaded. And ready to snap. So, my husband and I decided maybe I needed a break . So I came home with all these ideas of grandure. I was going to take control of my house, start working on my crafting business and get my life in order. It was going to be great. But what I didn’t know was that I was depressed and I had waited a little too long to take this step.
Fast forward – I’ve been home now for 9 months. My house is still chaos. One of the last 2 remaining children has flown the coop to be a soldier and I have a therapist. I did manage to get a few rooms cleaned up and organized, but I haven’t been able to maintain them. I’m looking to go back to work because the truth is I didn’t control the budget the way I should have. And I’ve gained 20 pounds since coming home and I was already over what I should have been by a large margin. So I had to buy a whole new wardrobe just to get started again. Work clothes that is, my lounge close still fit quite nicely thank you very much!
So, I’ve decided that if I truly want something to help hold me accountable and to get all my thoughts out of my head, it’s time to start populating this site. I have big plans with a rough timeline right now which I plan to post in another article. But for now I hope that putting this out there will suffice as a good start.
Thanks for listening.